Posted by Kitty on January 06, 2009 at 11:14 [98.210.111.34]
I feel a little shy posting right now but i just have so much anxiety i thought maybe people here could help me. Recently i had this very good friend who started out as a babysitter but then decided she liked being little as well. I was actually thrilled to be able to help her find this special part of her life. Then it turned out she was only my friend because she wanted to get closer to my Daddies. I feel heart broken and desolate now on this subject. Trust is such a big thing with little me. This person was even in my wedding party. We were very close
I should probably mention i have two Daddies. One i'm married to (Daddy)and another one whom is also very special (Da). But see this girl fell in love with my husband and Daddy and then tried to develop a relationship with my other Daddy, the one i call Da.
This little girl isn't in our life anymore, but as a result i feel very shaken by other little girls who try to get close to my Daddies. And this feeling i have feels awful, because i trust my friends. i really do. But this other girl was one of my closer friends and then...well, it all turned out so awful.
My other Daddy is coming over this week. And i invited two other little AB girlfriends over who just don't get to experience being an AB very often (i actually didn't know Da was going to come over right away). But now i'm so stressed out I'm afraid everyone else is going to be little and i'm not going to be able to due to all this anxiety and uncertainty that i don't even want to play anymore.
And this is hard because i don't mind sharing my Daddies. Da is so wonderful. He's gotten them tons of presents, big paci's and some clothes to start them off... And i usually love to see other people happy. To share their joy with them. And i think i still feel that way. I'm going to be so happy when they see their presents and fall in love with them, But... I just feel off.
I'm scared. When you don't have Daddies but you want one really bad i think it would be easy to just want one of your own. I don't think Da is going to leave me. All this fear is so irrational. But i feel stuck right now in little space and feeling sad that i thought maybe other people here would have some thoughts on this, or be able to work through some of this inner turmoil.
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