Posted by Kitty on January 06, 2009 at 19:19 [98.210.111.34]
In Reply to: Re: Feeling anxious posted by elle on January 06, 2009 at 11:53
I suppose i didn't explain this all very well. Da is certainly entitled to playing with other people. He has had other lovers. I have no problem with sharing him, but am more feeling anxious over having MY friends come over and be little when i feel so anxious about it right now.
I also understand that my friends are all not after my Daddy. My Daddies are wonderful people. And they love me so much. They would never do anything to hurt me. So even when other little's have tried to latch on, certainly nothing would ever come from it... But as irrational as it is (i thought i said that in my last post) after this past little girl and i had some difficulty with trust, i'm having issues with being as open.
More to the point i wanted help with ways in which i can try to relax a little. Obviously my closer friends are in my life because i trust them. And usually i make really good decisions. But being blindsided by one of my bestfriends has just sort of thrown me into a loop.
These other littles that are my friends are great, wonderful, loving people. I really really enjoy them and care for them as people. It's also really nice to be with other AB's that do the lifestyle way the way Daddy and i do. One is even into bdsm and is a submissive like me. I feel like in my head i know i have nothing to worry about. but still part of me feels like re-evaluating things because being blindsided from such a close friend caught me unaware.
I'm actually not a possessive person. And usually don't give Da watching my other friends (even without me) a second thought. Da could go out and have other relationships with little girls but he doesn't want them. So with girls i trust and have been friends with for years, it really doesn't bother me if he watches them and takes care of them. I remember my first time...and Da made that experience very beautiful. So I've always encouraged my friends to do this with Da because i know they are safe. No one could be any safer with anyone else.
So this isn't so much me dealing with possession issues and more me dealing with a i'm feeling insecure at the moment sort of thing. And more to the point, i also simultaneously know that these girls coming over this week ARE good people, they don't want my Daddies and i don't have to worry about it. But i'm still feeling anxious. And that's what i wanted to talk with everyone about.
Although i think i must not have been articulate enough because so many people got the wrong impression about what i was trying to say. I'll try to be more clear in the future if i post again. I'm actually feeling a lot better about this subject since i was able to pin point why, exactly i was feeling anxious about this subject. One friend being dishonest does not make ALL my friends dishonest. And looking at all of my friends, esp the girls coming over, i realize i have them in my life for a reason. I wouldn't have arranged a play date with them in my home if i didn't also rejoice with them while we are little together.
Having play dates makes everyone in the situation happy. Da is happy because he gets to take care of us, my friends are happy because they get to experience something they don't experience as often as i do and i get to sit around and bask in everyone's happiness. it really is a win win situation.
It took me a day to think about all of this but i apologize actually for starting a thread when i should have just taken the time to sit down and think (and work on this) on my own. Sometimes i get a little overwhelmed. Anyhoo it was very thoughtful of all of the people who responded to try and help me work through this stuff. I appreciate it a lot. (even if you didn't think i'd like what you have to say) Sometimes it takes real friends to point out your misconceptions.
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