Posted by pants on March 12, 2010 at 20:18 [175.33.217.110]
Questionnaire:
This questionnaire is from a reputable psychology book and will measure the strength of a particular schema. A schema, in psychology, refers to a way in which a person internally represents the world around them.
I’ve been interested in the relationship between this particular schema and our fetish for some time. Please feel free to complete the short questionnaire, post any comments about your experience and or ask any questions about it. The questionnaire is easy to complete and you may find it interesting and very relevant.
A note on privacy: Most, if not all of us here are anonymous, but by all means use a name like name like ‘anon’ if you would prefer to dissociate your usual wetset identity from anything you would like to share in relation to this topic. It can be hard talking about these things, but I’m confident that this is a safe place to freely talk about anything you may want to share.
Use this scale to answer each of the items:
1 completely untrue of me
2 mostly untrue of me
3 slightly more true than untrue of me
4 moderately true of me
5 mostly true of me
6 describes me perfectly
If you have any 5s or 6s on this questionnaire, this schema may still apply to you, even if your score is in the low range.
Write down or make a mental note of each score (from 1-6) for items 1. to 10. below:
1. No man or woman could love me if he/she really knew me.
2. I am inherently flawed and defective. I am unworthy of love.
3. I have secrets that I do not want to share, even with the people closest to me.
4. It was my fault that my parents could not love me.
5. I hide the read me. The real me is unacceptable. The self I show is a false self.
6. I am often drawn to people – parents, friends, and lovers- who are critical and reject me.
7. I am often critical and rejecting myself, especially of people who seem to love me.
8. I devalue my positive qualities.
9. I live with a great deal of shame about myself.
10. One of my greatest fears is that my faults will be exposed.
Add your scores together for questions 1.-10.
Interpreting your score, the ‘defectiveness schema’:
10-19 Very low. This schema probably does not apply to you.
20-29 Fairly low. This schema may apply to you occasionally.
30-39 Moderate. This schema is an issue in your life.
40-49 High. This is definitely an important schema for you.
50-60 Very high. This is definitely one of your core lifetraps.
The Experience of Defectiveness.
The emotion that is most connected to the ‘Defectiveness schema’ is shame. Shame is what you feel when your defects are exposed. You will do almost anything to avoid this feeling of shame. Consequently you go to great lengths to keep your defectiveness hidden.
You feel that your defectiveness is *inside* you. It is not immediately observable. Rather, it is something in the essence of your being – you feel completely unworthy of love. In contrast to the Social Exclusion schema, which concerns superficial or observable characteristics, Defectiveness is an inner state. While we usually know fairly quickly whether someone has a Social Exclusion lifetrap, Defectiveness is not so obvious. Certainly it is one of the most common lifetraps, but it is often hard to detect. Because your imagined defect is internal-unseen- you suffer even more from the terror of being exposed.
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