Posted by dejay on December 24, 1998 at 21:13
In Reply to: Marion: a story posted by anon on December 23, 1998 at 20:45
Hi Anon,
I thought you might appreciate a comment on your story. It was very well written and I was impressed with your ability to describe everything in superb detail. The only problem is that the story is seriously lacking in erotic and pee content. Nothing happened until the very last part and then it didn't amount to much.
Perhaps this is a true story or an enhanced true story and you told it like it happened. I can only suggest that you might have spent less time on getting to the beach and more time and detail on what happened once you got there. I know you put a lot of work into writting it, next time try to make it more erotic throughout the story.
Looking forward to your next effort.