Posted by Notallwanderlost on August 01, 2010 at 00:04 [71.171.157.128]
I've been reading the various forums on this site wondering where I should post because I've got a very special lady I'm dating who at times regresses to an age between 3 and 8 depending on how stressed she is at the time.
She's 33 and I'm 30 (and male). She's had guys in her life including her soon-to-be ex husband who were abusive towards her because of her liking to wet/mess her pants and wear diapers on occasion. This is why I'm not sure what forum(s) I should post on - and this seems like the most universal fit.
I at first wasn't sure I'd be ok with her desires to wet herself (in public and at home), her sleep wetting when she's stressed (she's getting divorced so that's often), her desire to be diapered on occasion, and to otherwise sometimes regress to a young child/toddler and behave and want to be treated as such, but we've known each other almost a year now, she's moved in with me and I'm happier than ever.
We are sexual and otherwise 'adult' in 95% of our lives together, though she's gotten so she retreats to her other self when she gets very stressed and that's a lot lately.
My issue is I need someone to talk to on occasion - get ideas/suggestions etc on how to deal with her growing frequency of 'accidents' when we're not at home.
She tries very hard to keep control over her bathroom behavior when we're out around friends and in otherwise public situations but she's not been successful this weekend in particular and I know she was embarassed by a situation that happened earlier today.
I have a van and keep a full supply of her diapers and other infant type toiletry supplies in the back for emergencies but today she wasn't in control of herself (as she said to me and apologized to me for later, though I wasn't embarassed she was).
We sell veggies at a local market every weekend and there's a single public bathroom near the market and its usually very very disgusting. She's gotten so she won't use a public toilet unless its spotless - so she's been asking to be diapered more often (again I think this is her being stressed).
I offered to put her in diapers like I do when she's home and toddling around too busy to use the toilet but she said she'd be fine. About an hour into a 6 hour swing she tugged my sleeve and whispered "I need to go potty really bad." We have a semi enclosed tent and we have black camp chairs - she was wearing black spandex type dance pants and had already told me she wouldn't use the public toilet because it was filthy. So she kept tugging on my sleeve and I told her if she had to go potty that she could just go and no one would notice because of her pants and they'd likely dry before we got ready to pack up and go home - plus if she didn't dry she could just sit in the van while I packed.
I also told her if she really wanted to I could take her into the van and put her in her nappy and different pants, but she refused saying she didn't want the bulge of a diaper to show under her pants.
So she did the little girl potty dance for about half an hour and kept telling me she had to go potty. I finally put up the half wall of the tent so she could have privacy to either pull her pants down and squat to pee or she could do whatever her urges told her to do.
When I checked on her she was crying and had made a huge poop in her pants and had a very noticeable bulge visible from the back of her pants. I asked a neighboring vendor to watch the front of the tent for a bit and grabbed a diaper & clean clothes from the van, and explained to the other vendor that she got stung and I was removing the stinger from her lower back - to be a good excuse. She refused to be diapered and instead I put her in clean pants & panties and we went back to vending. Half an hour later she was crying at the table - having wet her pants thoroughly and soaked the camp chair as well. I didn't have any more dry pants for her so I had her sit the entire time and sadly she had to stay in wet pants because she refused to let me change her into a diaper where she could've wet repeatedly with ease. Four more times that day she pulled on my sleeve and I saw a growing wet spot on her lap and under her chair.
Am I doing something wrong in not making her be diapered when she's wet & messed herself more than once? I've asked her if she wants to become more dependent on diapers and not use the potty at all - and she just ignores the question. In the last week she's wet her pants a total of at least 10 times and she's messed her pants at least 3 times because she's not let me diaper her but she seems embarassed when it happens. She seems to like it when I take her and clean her up and put her in clean/dry pants only to have to be changed out of soiled clothing again in an hour or so.
Once I get her into a diaper she'll stay that way until it needs changing because its full or she wants back into big girl clothes only to have an accident or (dare I say) intentionally soil her clothing and need more attention.
Now like I said before we are sexual and she likes to be spanked when she's bad - this is her request and she has asked me to start spanking her after she soils herself when she's not diapered. Should I be concerned or is she just acting out or wanting attention?
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