Posted by Pee Conspiracist on September 13, 2000 at 03:14
I remember a buncha years ago there was this play about Edith Piaf called Piaf. (Absolutely no pun at all intended re: the name, by the way. You lurkers are just dirty minded sons o' bitches; besides, you guys'd prolly prefer Pion to Piaf anyway.)
So's I's sayin'...
In this play, Piaf, Piaf pisses right on stage (it's a long play). I think it was supposed to show the abject lowness from which Piaf ascends via her pipes (the kind she don't piss with.) So sometime close to intermission, when most of us're straining to hold the floodgate valves ourselves, the chick playin' Piaf hikes her rags, squats and starts soaking the boards.
Instant hardon, but that's not the point.
Later, at dinner, my date marvelled at the actress's astounding ability to pee on cue, night after night. I explained to her that it was obviously a stage trick, that no human could possibly time it to the second every night and then relax sufficiently for... well, you get the picture.
"So how'd they do it?" she gaped.
The same way they do blood. With a bladder. You know, an external one. A water bag. Piaf straps it to her tummy, unplugs it when she hikes, and squeezes when she squats. Simplicity magnified.
Nor is that my point.
My point is: If you've been through the archives, I'm sure you've linked to the Giga pics. If you're observant (or perhaps merely skeptical), you've pondered the consistency of the urine cascading down the model's thighs like a cataract to pool on whatever reflective surface her vinyl pumps happen to be pigeon-toed on. "Perhaps this is what Japanese girls' pee looks like," you might try to explain away. "Or maybe whatever they gave her to drink makes it congeal like that," you refine. "Or some photographic trick."
Hardly. (Can you see where this is going?)
I propose, meine damen und herren, that the Giga pics are faked. These girls aren't really peeing. Some of the photos show a video guy recording the event for posterity and additional profit. You think they do just one take? Go someplace public without a pee permit and wait till some jonsin' Asian junkie hasta squirt her clam? I think not.
I think they take the easy way out. I think they make the model wear a bladder much like the one Piaf wore in Piaf. Notice how whoever's peein' is always clutching her klegels?
Think about it. I mean, I know desperate girls do that when they're about to lose their dam in their pants. But that's the cover. That's the tell. Look at the pics. All of the pissin' chicks have one hand hidden. All of them. (And I assure you I've pounded the pud to them all.)
I suggest that this ubiquitous pressing of the tummy is really nothing more than rudimentary sleight of hand; the model is really pressing her external bladder.
I'm not complaining. Considering the dearth of free accident material, as long as the staging's good and the chick is hot I'm a happy wanker. In that regard, Giga rocks.