Posted by dejay on December 22, 1998 at 12:28
It's that time of year again when old Saint Nick will be making his rounds and circling the globe to bestow on us all his wonderful Christmas gifts that he has worked so hard all year to produce at the north pole with his elves. We have come to except the annual ritual of going out on Christmas day and sweeping the reindeer shit off our roofs and hosing it off our front lawns and washing all the reindeer piss off our cars. We except the cost of replacing fallen bricks and sealing up the cracks in our chimneys caused by that fat man trying to fit down an opening made only large enough for smoke to pass through. And we don't mind paying the roofer to replace those broken shingles and tiles and to repair the gouges in our roofs caused by the slay rails and reindeer hoofs. And of coarse we just accept the cleaning and vacuuming that goes along with getting rid of all the soot that Santa dragged into our living rooms and onto the carpet when he climbed out of our fireplace after sliding down the chimney. All of these things we have come to accept and love as a part of our Christmas celebration but where does Santa Claus piss? All night long he is drinking milk and eating cookies at every stop and all that milk must fill up his bladder frequently throughout the night. I have often checked the Christmas tree for wet branches or puddles on the carpet behind the tree but have never found any. I am quite certain he does not use any ones bathroom for fear of awaking the occupants sleeping in the house. I have ruled out the use of a diaper because I don't think they make one big enough to fit him. That leaves the possibility that he hangs it out over the edge of his slay while in flight but at the speed he would have to travel in order to visit all the homes around the world in one night, the wind encountered would probably tear off his pecker so I doubt that he would try that. Santa has never been known to have a wet patch between his legs so wetting his pants is doubtful although he has never been seen during or at the end of his Christmas morning run so it is possible that he just pees in his suit.
I'll leave it up to the rest of you readers to try to answer the question of where does Santa pee and just wish you all a very merry Christmas.
dejay
Email: dejay55@hotmail.com