Posted by Mara on December 03, 1998 at 12:27
As a little girl I was always taken by the pagentry of Christmas. I can remember listening to my grandmother spin tales of Christmases past. I was especially interested in her stories of New Youk City and the tremendous Christmas tree at Rockerfeller Center. I could visualize myself being there with all those people, standing in awe of this great tree with all the ornaments and lights. As I grew older I became aware of more than just the tree at Rockerfeller Center. I had seen pictures of the people skating out in the open, right there in the middle of the city. I fantasized about being one of those skaters. And, yes, the Christmas show with the Rockettes.
One day, right out of the blue, my grandmother asked me if I would like a trip to New York City as my Christmas present. Of course I said yes. It was still 3 months away so I had plenty of time to fantasize about it. Time seemed to drag until the day we left for the city. My grandfather didn't want to drive in the city so we took a train. The plan was to stay the night in a hotel. Not only was this my first time to the city (I was 16), but it was my first time to stay in a real hotel. We arrived at Grand Central Station and went right to our hotel without even going outside. I was truly impressed. We had lunch and then started off for Rockerfeller Center. We saw the Christmas show first with me totally enamoured by the dancers. When we left I was walking on air, wanting very much to be a glamourous dancer. The next stop was the skating rink. The Christmas tree was in place and all decorated. The lighting ceremony was to take place later that evening. My grandfather had resevations at one of the restaurants down at the skating level and had even managed a window table just so I could watch the skaters close up. When we arrived my grandmother asked if I wanted to visit the little girls room. At that moment I was in the process of transitioning myself from a dancer to a skater. I declined, not wanting to take my eyes off these people who were skating by the window, an arms length away. I remember my grandfather complaining about the slow service but it made no difference to me. I scarcely talked at all, transfixed on the skaters and their moves on the ice.
My grandfather innterrupted my trance when he announced that we better "get cracking" if we were going to get a place to stand to watch the tree lighting. We left the restaurant without eating our desserts and hurried out to the street. By now it was dark and the evening cold was setting in. There were so many people that we could hardly move. My grandfather, with my grandmother and me in tow, forged a path. After a good bit of nudging and a little downright pushing, he established a viewing place for the three of us right across the street from the tree. All kinds of people were moving around the stage where the symbolic switch was located. My grandfather told us it would be about a half hour until the lights went on. After about 10 minutes I was starting to get cold, in spite of the closeness of the surrounding people. I was wearing a dress and had "grown-up" nylon stockings on held up with a "grown-up" garter belt. The cold was just rushing up under my skirt and the nylons were not as warm as my cotton socks. It was about this time that I started thinking about the last time I had visited the little girls room. It was just before we had been seated for the Rockettes show. About 5 hours. I wasn't uncomfortable but each time a cold draft waifted its way up my skirt I would get a chill and then would shiver a bit. On one of those shivers I felt a little tinkle go into my panties. That was not a good omen. I looked around and knew that there was no way we could get back to the restaurant with the way all these people were packed together, plus I didn't want to tell my grandparents of my plight. I knew my grandmother had planned this for months and if we were to leave before the lighting she (and I) would be terribly disappointed. So I kept quiet. Time was dragging by ever so slowly. When the appointed time came for the ceremony to start, no one was on the stage. We waited and waited, listening to the Christmas carols that were coming from the speakers placed all around the area. I tried to get my mind off my ever growing problem by singing along. It didn't work. I had another shiver and a little more tinkle ran into my panties. They were now wet enough that every gust of wind could be felt. It was like an icy hand between my legs which only served to exacerbate the chills which were followed by the shivers which were followed by a liitle more tinkle. By now I was cold all the way through my bones. I was dancing up and down on my toes not just to try and stop the tinkle, but also to try and get some blood circulating through my body. I couldn't even clap my hands we were packed in so tightly. Finally a light went on on the stage and two elves came dancing out. The ceremonies were to begin. At last! I concentrated on that and not on my problem and it worked. For a few minutes. I honestly don't remember who the famous lady was that turned on the switch because, just as she was being introduced, I was introducing 5+ hours of tinkle to the sidewalks of New York. When I felt the fatal shiver I just knew there was no way I was going to be able to stop shaking. I stood there, my whole body shivering, not even able to breathe. I felt the warmth of the tinkle filling my panties and running down my legs and wishing that my whole body could be that warm. I have no idea how long I went but I do know it wasn't long before the wind found all the wetness and it was very cold. It took about 20 minutes for the crowd to disperse. My grandmother turned to me and asked if I wanted to walk back to the hotel so we could look in the store windows. I could see she really wanted to do this. I took a deep breath (I could now that I had "relieved" myself), smiled and said "sure".
I don't think anyone knew what I had done, not even my grandparents. I didn't even tell my best friend until after she had embarassed herself one night, many years later. Well, last night I found myself back at Rockerfeller Center. I was in the city on business and reading that the lighting ceremony was to take place last night, changed my plans to be there. I'm 32 now, unmarried and no children. As I lay on my bed yesterday afternoon and thought back to that night, I started to fantasize about recreating the scene. It was too late to go to the show and I knew that there was no chance of even getting into the restaurant. So I concentrated on the lighting ceremony. For those of you who don't know, the northeastern part of the United States is experiencing abnormally warm weather. It was 60 there yesterday. Well, since I was going to go to the lighting ceremony, and since it was going to be warm, I decided to wear a skirt..... and no stockings. Since i couldn't recreate the rest of the day I ended up with this thread of a thought about recreating my problem. I have no idea why. I became obsessed with it for a bit before reason took hold. When I left my room my state of mind was "If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, it doesn't"
I grabbed a quick bite and took a cab to the area. I wanted to look at the windows since I was there. I know I'll disappoint some of you when I say that I didn't load up on liquids. Remember, some semblance of reason had returned to me by then. I scoped out the area and was surprised that it was so packed and it was still daylight. I found an area that would give me a good view of the tree but not the stage. I'm not a Garth or Trischa fan. I thought it also gave me, at that time, some semblance of privacy behind me. But more and more people came and I found my little spot filled right up. Surprisingly, I found myself needing to visit a bathroom. I hadn't had anything to drink since lunch and had used the toilet at the hotel around 3. There was about an hour before the start of the show at that time and I immediately remembered what my thoughts were as I left my room. "If it happens....." For the next hour I kept running that day from 16 years previous through my mind. This served two purposes. It made the time pass quickly and it also made me resolve to stay the course. I couldn't help but think back on how warm it now was as compared to then. Now I was only wearing a car coat and was very comfortable. The last time I had my best winter coat on and was frozen. Finally there was some movement around the stage. By now I was feeling uncomfortable. I've never been one for desperation and, when faced with the situation, have taken the easy way out, pride be damned. All I could think of was that I sure was glad it was dark out. The last time here it was the cold that pushed me over the edge. I was wondering what would do it now. It didn't take long to find out. There were three women in front of me, all of whom were taller. When things started happening around the stage I tried to stand up on my toes to see. I could curl them up and get a few second view. I did this a couple of times and finally my poor toes gave out on me and I fell forward into the women. When I realized I was falling I cried out, involuntarily, forewarning them of someting happening behind them. One of the women ducked her head just as I fell into them. When she did that, she lost her balance and fell forward as well. By the time all the falling had stopped, I had my answer as to what would precipitate emptying my bladder. I could not have orchestrated the scene. Not only that but I couldn't stop the flow either. I found myself lying on the back of the woman in front of me, my head on her buttocks. My legs were on the ground and my right knee was bleeding. And so was my bladder only the liquid was yellow. The puddle under me was growing as hands reached down to pull me up. What I needed was a cave to climb into. Once standing I was able to cut off the flow. The place where I had made my puddle was now filled with people. I apologized profusely to the three ladies, especially the one I fell on. No one mentioned the
puddle or paid any notice to my now very wet skirt. I quickly departed that area and watched the lighting of the tree from up the concourse.
So there you have it. Deja Vu, all over again. Have a Merry!
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