Posted by Soileds on December 20, 2003 at 22:12 [66.75.27.150]
Okay, in the spirit of getting back into public pooping, thought I'd recap a recent story of mine. I'm currently training for a marathon, and maybe some of you have heard, there's a phenomenon called "runners trots" which is basically a strong laxative effect (and irritable bowel-like effect) brought on by intense running. Many runners have actually shit themselves while running. And many gleefully do it, willing to put up with the humiliation (or exhiliration) of shitting yourself then suffering from a bad performance on a run. It's actually to our benefit, 'cause if you time it right, it can produce some extremely nice loads!
Anyway, one time not too long after a long run and a stint at the local pub with some fellow runners, I felt the need to do the deed. And I REALLY had to go, having not shit in 3 days, and just going for a long run, it felt nice and juicy. After our pub stint, I got in my car and drove back home, looking forward to the private gratification of filling my skimpy running shorts with a big, messy load. But...as I was driving home, I noticed a flower shop on the way that was rather deserted, away from the town, being staffed by a young woman. So...how could I resist???? :)
I pull off the road and drive up this narrow "no outlet" street about 300 meters from the flower shop, so my car is a bit around the corner and out of the direct view from the shop. Oh my...I REALLY HAD TO GO! I had almost shit myself while running, but held on by a thin thread. After parking and putting a plastic trash bag over my car seat, I walk briskly towards the flowershop. It was a warm summer day and in the mid-afternoon. I was wearing a black tank top and a pair of green thin, high-cut running shorts that were really short. They are great to run in...and even better to take a big crap in!
I walk up to the flower stand...it was one of those larger, outside kiosks, versus an indoor store like Conroys or whatnot. I was greeted by a young woman, must've been about 19 or 20 years old, she had long blonde hair, sun-tanned skin, very nice body, but a bit of a shy and acne-ridden face. She saw me and gave me a timid smile and greeting. The pressure was building, and I REALLY had to go. This was going to be a nice, messy, smelly one indeed.
After looking around for a bit, I tell the flower girl that I want a bouquet for my ficticious girlfriend, and tell her to throw in a mix of carnations, sunflowers, and roses. As she's collecting the individual flowers and making my bouquet, I begin to show visual signs of desperation and struggling...and I wasn't acting all that much at this point either! She notices and askes me if I'm okay...if I had a cramp or something. I told her that I had taken a laxative earlier and it was starting to hit me, and I needed to use the bathroom BAD! She let out this shy giggle laced with anxiety and said that there wasn't a bathroom around. I said to just hurry up with my order, I should be okay.
But I wasn't okay. I couldn't resist. My backside was at a sligth angle towards her. Funneling all aspects of tension, anxiety, and fantasy, I gave a gentle push and out poured a HUGE LOAD of mushy shit into my shorts. I could feel the continue to load push push and push it's way down my skimpy shorts, lasting a good 5-10 seconds. Just at the tail end of the load... I hear this gasping sign come from behind me, coming out of the girl's mouth. I turn around and see the most surprised look on a person's face that I've ever seen in my life. She witnessed the entire event! In utter shock,she then dropped the unfinished bouquet of flowers on the floor and put both hands over her face. I WAS SO TURNED ON AT THIS POINT, having a guava-sized load of shit in my shorts and having a girl notice it!
But...I also got that vibe that maybe it was time to leave...and now. I said I was sorry to the girl (also a little shit leaked out and fell on the floor) and ran off. Something told me that maybe she'd escalate the matter. I ran up the hill to my car and quickly got it. As I was starting the car, I looked in my rear view mirror and saw a police car pull into the flower shop. OH SHIT! Thinking that I had a few seconds to spare to make a quick getaway, I started my car and headed up this road that I had NO IDEA where it led! I drove fast trying to plot my next move. Looking constantly in the rear-view mirror, the cop wasn't behind me, and I knew that other than a vague description of me, I was okay for the moment.
My heart was racing, my ass was stinking. I drive up this narrow, rural road for a little longer and see that the road dead ends. Shit, now what? Fortunately to the left of the dead-end, I come across a turn-off that leads to a botanical garden...basically a place where people go to stare at various plants and whatnot all day. I pull in there and find a secluded section in the parking lot, it appeared to be moderately busy. My initial reaction was to lay low for a couple of hours until things at the flower shop died down. I was extremely paranoid and hyper-alert at this point. I was sitting in the middle of a parking lot with a huge, fat load mushing around in my shorts.
I figured my next step from here was to enter in this big garden, in the event the police officer eventually drove up into the parking lot and was looking for somebody that met my description. Sitting in my car, I'd be an easy target. But...walking around with a load of huge shit in a pair of skimpy running shorts was asking for trouble too. So, I looked around my car and luckily on my back seat, was a pair of baggy, basketball style shorts that would easily conceal the load...but sure not the smell, as I stank like a stinky bitch! But, it was better than nothing, and something told me, I needed to get moving.
I slipped on the baggy shorts and walked towards the botanical garden entrance. Staffing the entrance was a couple of elederly people, asking $5 as a 'donation' to enter. Fine, whatever, I pay and walk in, avoiding people as my stench would certainly give me away. I weave my way as deep as possible into the garden, hoping that if somebody was hot on my trail, my evasive moves would put me out of harms way. Fortunately, it seems I was in the clear for the moment.
First things first, I needed to ditch these shorts and fast! I was towards the bottom of the garden, nowhere near a restroom. So...I look around for any approaching people. Nobody coming, great, my environment fortuned me with lots of cover. I duck behind a large bush and quickly pull both pairs of shorts down. So now, I'm butt naked. I carefully pull my shitted shorts off, staining my socks on the way, and ditch them behind the bushes. I then grab some leaves and wipe myself as quickly and thorougly as I could, and then put my baggy shorts back on.
Weew! Coast was clear, even though I still had a shitty butt, the situation was getting better. I rolled my socks down to my shoes, as to hide the shit stains. I wander around the botanical garden for a bit, killing time. Nothing seemed to happen, nobody came after me, so I cautiously headed back towards my car.
By now it had been a good 2 hours since the "incident" at the flower shop. I got in my car and headed back down the hill and past the flowershop, and towards the freeway home. There doesn't appear to be any police cars at the flowershop, and nothing behind me, and no roadblocks (calling all units, calling all units, stop the pantspooper at all costs!!!!!) So...I head back home and relive the fond memories of the event. It was scary, though honestly I'm not sure if the gal at the flowershop called the police, or perhaps the policeman pulled in to get his own flowers. Nevertheless, it was one of them events that cautioned me further about public accidents.
Absolute true story, hope you enjoyed.
Email: soileds@yahoo.com