Posted by Arnold Ziffel on December 16, 2010 at 17:32 [68.192.151.63]
In Reply to: TVPC (new story!) posted by Narada on December 15, 2010 at 16:51
That was indeed worth waiting for. Very true to the original TVPC concept, yet very original in its own right.
I loved the girls cheering in the background as the boys got punished for the first time. And when you changed gears and told the masturbator to ask that girl out, was a literary masterstroke.
The "enterprising" Will Ryker was the best and the reference to Sabrina Spellman was great as well. I've got a feeling that the girl who defended Will for messing his pants at a wrestling match (that is indeed quite serious) is going to be trouble. I've used Sabrina sparingly in mine but your references were a lot better. I've racked my brain on ways to use her, but I've haven't been able to come up with much. I can tell that they're other references in there (ie -- the green coin thing), but I'm just not familiar with what they are -- maybe too new for me.
You let off the one girl way too easy. Only a month on toilet suspension for dunking another girl's face into an unflushed toilet -- not to mention the offense of leaving the toilet unflushed in the first place. You were plenty tough on the masturbator, though. I have a case written for a masturbator case in a future post and I have a case coming up in the future where a girl has messy panties hidden in her purse. Mine gets punished, though.
You really did a great job with this. Bravo
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