Posted by anonymous on August 25, 2006 at 21:37 [67.68.213.212]
I have been following the ongoing debate on this message board concerning the difficulty in actually hooking up with someone. To be accurate, it’s been more a universal venting of frustration then debate. Now I don’t pretend to have the answer, but never the less, I thought I would share my insight in the hopes that it will help.
First off, people ask why so many pretend to be someone they are not when online? For a number of reasons. Adult baby and ageplay fetishes are not widely understood or accepted. Many of us feel ashamed or embarrassed by our desires. As a result we hide them. The anonymity of the Internet provides an outlet to indulge hidden fantasies. That does not excuse misrepresenting yourself but it may explain it. “Coming out” of the nursery is not like “coming out” of the closet. There are no support groups, help lines, Adult baby bars or neighborhoods. We are even marginalized within the BDSM and fetish communities. It can be very demoralizing to be shunned as a perverted freak by someone who wants to be locked in a cage and spanked with a rolled up newspaper. Coming to terms with your desires and their role in your life is a very personal decision and not everybody is ready for the same level of commitment. Which brings me too…
Why do people suddenly cut off communication? The readiness to pursue a fantasy relationship into reality is a big part of it. Also, I suspect a great number of us are in vanilla relationships and are unable to pursue anything long-term, online or otherwise. Nor can they suppress their desires anymore. But mostly, I believe many of us have had our fill of relationships that don’t satisfy our desires and once we take the plunge and decide to fulfill our fantasy, why waste time with someone who is not compatible? Cutting off contact abruptly may seem rude, but it does make the point.
The search for a compatible partner is the elusive and difficult goal of nearly everyone on the planet. Our standards for compatibility happen to be higher then most.
I’m sure that nothing I have said here is breaking new ground. And I am ashamed to admit that I have been guilty of some of the things I describe. I have been the victim of them as well. I wish we could all be more open, honest and considerate but not at the expense of our safety.
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