Posted by New Girl on August 04, 2006 at 23:32 [67.68.213.212]
I am feeling really confused and mixed up and have nowhere else to turn. I am not entirely sure why I am posting, or what I hope to get from this but i just know that if I don't tell someone what is going on I will burst. And I can't talk about this with my friends.
Here's the deal, I am a 20 years old, female (really) and in my last year of school. I don't think of myself as prudish and try to keep an open mind. But I wouldn't say that I am kinky either. Up until a few weeks ago I had never even heard of "ageplay" and what I did know about diaper fetishes never appealed to me. Not that it does now or anything. I don't know anymore.
Okay. a couple of months ago I started seeing this guy. He's sweet and charming, smart and handsome. Everything a girl could ask for. And the sex was great. I immediately trusted him and he introduced my to all kind of new things. Anyway, a coupe of weeks ago, we went back to his place after a night of drinking, and I was flirting with him and teasing him and asking if there was anything else he had to show me. He was a little drunk too I guess and he said something about diapers. Now, to be honest, I have to admit I was a little weirded out. It certainly was unexpected but I could tell he was emaarassed and struggling for the right words. I started to push him to continue eventhough he was trying to back track and finally gave in.
He told me about infatalism and adult babies and ageplay. I listened and tried to keep an open mind. Maybe it was the alcohol or more likely his enthusiam for this but I really wanted to hear more. We kept talking for a while and after a few more drinks I was sitting infront of his computer with him looking at websites about adult babies, including this one (his favorite).
It was clear that this was more than just a passing interest for him. Finally he asked me what I thought and I had no idea how to answer. H dropped the subject and we went to bed and had the best sex of our, albeit short, relationship.
The sex was so good in fact that the next day I asked him to show me this website again. This time I read through the stories and message board, looked at the pictures and kept asking him questions. It wasn't long before we were back in bed for a session that outdid the previous night. Afterwards, as I lay beside him, I told him he could put a diaper on me if he wanted. He tried to hide it but it was obvious that he was thrilled. Immediately he began questioning me. Asking how far I would be willing to go, would I use the diaper, or only wear it? If I used it would I only wet or would I mess? If I wet, could he change me? would I sleep in a diaper. Stuff like that. He was so excited and giddy I didn't want to dissapoint him. I just told him to take thing one step at a time.
He was up very early the next morning and rushed out of the house while I stayed in bed. When he came back he woke me up with breakfast in bed. As soon as I finished ating he asked if I was serious about what I had said the night before. Honestly, what I said, I said in the heat of the moment and remembering his questions from the night before I was a little more hesitant now. If I chickened out It would break his heart, and besides I was a bit curious about the big deal was. I told him if he was into it I would give it a try. He told to to wait there and left the bedroom with the dishes very quickly returning with a plasic bag from the drugstore. As I suspected he pulled out a package of depends adult diapers and opened them. I watched as he pulled one out and unfolded it. I said nothing as he lay me back on the bed and pulled off my underwear. I felt a little embarrased when he grabbed me by my ankles and lifted my legs. The embarrasment grew as I felt him slide the diaper under me, pull it up between my legs a tape it in place. He was admiring his workand patted the front of the diaper and asked me how it felt. I remember squirming around trying to get comfrotable and telling him I wasn't sure yet. It wasn't bad, just bulky, and noisy. It crinkled everytime I moved. Now that I was diapered, I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do next. Neither was my boyfriend. When I asked him. he repeated "one thing at a time".
I asked if I could get out of bed and he said "of course". The thickness between my legs took some getting used to and the elastic leg bands felt tight. Every step I took produced an audible rustle that followed me around. Still I went about my ususal morning routine with my boyfriend shadowing me every step of the way saying nothing. After I brushed my teeth I moved toward the toilet for my morning pee. That was when he finally spoke. He asked what I was doing and I told him. He patted my bum and told me that that was what the diaper was for and promised to change me right away. I considered it for a minute, not sure I could go through with it. He looked so hopeful, with pleeding eyes. I told him I didn't think I could and he offered to remove the diaper. I was holding it in as we talked but realy need to go and when I could hold it no longer I told him I loved him and allowed my self to wet my first diaper. It felt like it took forever and when I was done he took me by the hand back to the bedroom, lay me down on the bed, untaped the wet diaper cleaned me with a baby wipe and but another on me. I cried the whole time. Not tears of shame but I have nevr felt so loved and taken care of in my whole life.
I have worn diapers for my boyfriend on and off for the last two weeks. I am still not sure how I feel about it. I just needed to get this off my chest and tell my story to people who would understand. I would appreciate any advice.
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