Posted by Brian on July 16, 2005 at 23:06 [152.163.100.72]
In Reply to: See ya -- You'll be missed posted by DR on July 09, 2005 at 13:18
D.R.
You need some refinement of your reading skills. My reasons for leaving were stated clearly, if succinctly, in the first phrases of my post.
My LG and I are leaving next weekend for an extended period of travel together - first to wrap up the final stages of a research project - during which we will visit some beautiful, rustic locales in the western USofA. After this is concluded, in 3-4 months, I will have a clean break point, and I am taking a 6-9 month leave of absence. We will then travel to the Philippines, her homeland, for our wedding. This will be followed by a honeymoon tour through Vietnam, Thailand, and India.
While, I currently spend 25-30 hours per week online for research, and 2-3 hours for socializing, I have no particular love-affair with the cyber-world, and I anticipate savoring the time away from its central position in my life. I do not expect to have easy access to the internet, so my occasional re-emergence will be mainly for maintaining contacts.
Clear enough?
Drive me away! :-) I descend from a long line of proud, contentious, and stubborn Scotch-Irish white-trash, most of whom have proven equally adept at verbal sparring and pugilism. We don't intimidate easily, and we don't go away until we decide to. I am "prideful" to carry on the legacy.
Still, since you raised the issue, while you merely annoyed me, others on this site HAVE left because they have not found the atmosphere quite so hospitable since your arrival. Most of my contacts from association with DG have come from private e-mail exchanges rather than from posts. Some of these have been on-going for six months or longer, and a handful of these people, LGs and daddies alike, will not post here because they cannot tolerate your asinine attitude.
This leads to another point that you raised - responsibility. Several individuals here have taken you to task for your lack of restraint and subtlety, as well as your general ego-mania. You aggressively refute each and every point, providing a seemingly endless stream of rationales and excuses - with nary a legitimate justification in sight.
You "scold" Tisha to stop being so defensive and to lose the chip on her shoulder, all the while plainly, and amusingly, oblivious to the fact that many here consider you world-class defensive.
To L.E., you assert that you enjoy your exchanges with "smart" people, because you learn so much from them. Really! Ain't no evidence here! You could stand to learn much from L.E. himself, who, while indeed a fellow pontificator, is clearly a master of the subtlety and restraint you lack. Unless the "education" that you claim to acqire from others is manifested in your behavior, your words merely constitute yet another empty cliche.
So, D.R., living in denial of who you are, or the negative impact that you routinely exert on others - is that the responsible behavior that you refer to? How's this for comparison: I met a beautiful and intelligent LG on this board. We corresponded for a brief but intense period just prior to my reunion with Nettie. We shared much in common, but there were also some compatibillity issues that ultimately led to an abrupt ending. While there was little chance for this relationship, and we are no longer in contact, I have long felt that the ending was too judgemental - on my part. She has not posted on this board, since then, with any regularity. If she ever made it known to me that my presence on this board was inhibiting hers, then I would step back, so that she might resurface. She was an active participant on DG before I arrived, and it would be unfair for my interests to interfere with hers.
You see, D.R. true accountability involves not only self-awareness but the ability to honestly assess one's behavior as well as the willingness to change or to pursue redemption when this is appropriate.
I do hope that you make some progress while I am away. Since I doubt that you will, I hope that others continue to rake you over the coals when you get too "uppity." I won't profess to miss these exchanges, because they should have been unnecessary. Most of the members of this board do not sign on for philosophical or rhetorical debates or for tutorials from a pseudo-expert devoid of actual credentials (In a field without standards, can't just any one call themselves a pro or a BIG FISH?).
Until I return, mull over the following:
The word seminal refers to provocative, original, even revolutionary thoughts that "seed" other imaginative ideas. Can't say that I've had many - How many of yours qualify?
Hardcore is a matter of degree - and perception. For instance, I live a fairly intense, hardcore life, yet I am drawn to sexual expression that many whose lives are far more relaxed and even sedentary might view as soft - especially since the element of control is muted. Still, I have known many, back in the day, whose interests are closer to yours and others with S&M, B&D predispositions, and I've observed that a fair number of them were quite capable of separating their need for sexual control and dominance with their generally more relaxed MO for the rest of their lives. They didn't need to be ON constantly, to always have the last, or the best word, to be the only one in the room with an informed opinion, or to dominate any conversation/discussion they insert themselves into. The heavyweights I currently associate with, bonafide experts - many with 40 years post-doc research who have written or contributed to numerous important texts and papers, are similar (not familiar with their sexual proclivities) - most are more down to earth and much more relaxed about their expertise than you are D.R., with your:
"I've arrived! Form two lines - slave devotees on the left - subordinate, inadequate Daddy-Doms on the right - instructions and infallible wisdom shall follow!" or
"Yo! I've been sleeping with and talking to submissive girls for 20 years or so. Held a lot of meetings and formed some clubs. Have a deep knowledge of the lingo and various kink scenes. Basically, I'm an expert. Just ask me and I'll tell you. Better yet, don't ask. I'll reiterate every chance that I get."
The only person who simply must get over D.R. is D.R. himself.
Please do the cut and paste routine - it's so clever and entertaining.