Posted by DR on July 12, 2005 at 13:14 [67.83.76.91]
In Reply to: Re: Daddy's amazement posted by Ann on July 12, 2005 at 12:09
You know, I read this often in the diaper world -- "I'm very lucky to have found..." "You're so lucky to have..." I cringe every time I read it.
Its a common colloquialism -- we all say it from time to tome. And I'm sure you do feel lucky, but here's my problem with the word...
"Luck" discounts the work you (and your Daddy) put in to find each other and keep your relationship strong. And "luck" also makes it seem as though finding a great Daddy, AB girl, etc., is a matter of mere *chance* -- that few others can attain.
On my messageboard, people used to say to me, "I wish I had a girl like yours." "I wish I had someone as pretty." But wishing never paid the bills did it? Luck doesn't put gas in the car, and "hoping" doesn't find great Daddies, Mommies, ABies, or anyone else.
My point -- "luck" is a cultural word we use sometimes without thinking about what it really means. Here in the diaper world, calling hard work "luck" leads to a culture of learned helplessness -- an entire AB segment who supplant work with wishing -- who think a Mommy is more likely to be found on the end of a rainbow than through committment and hard work.
Me, I'm not keeping my fingers crossed for Daddy Andy. Instead, I'm encouraging him to work hard to find that *right* AB girl for him. Encouraging him to seek in places he may never have thought to look (like alt.com, spankingchat.com, his local BDSM group, etc.) -- to keep asking around to find even more places to look -- to think about himself and what it means to be a Daddy -- to clarify his limits and what he wants in his kinky life -- to learn how to best express those desires -- to write *one* great email a day, not fifty one-liners -- to get out there and meet kinky women face-to-face -- to make it his *mission* to find a great (not necessarily the first) gal who treats him the way he deserves to be treated: with kindness, respect, honor, love, friendship, trust, honesty, compassion, understanding, and so much more.
And when you find that great gal Andy, and live a long wonderful life with her, you'll have worked hard for that.
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