Posted by A. on July 09, 2005 at 22:23 [65.219.81.99]
In Reply to: See ya -- You'll be missed posted by DR on July 09, 2005 at 13:18
Russ,
Like the male ABs, DLs, and Daddies online that you so often berate, your typical mode of public communication comes off a little strong. Sure, much of your advice is sound (and nearly always well-meaning), but the clear distaste for the AB/DL scene as a whole that you're not shy about expressing can be a little abrasive for my tastes (and I'll take the leap of assuming some others, especially Brian and the other's with whom you've waged flame wars). Sure, many of us who aren't shy with opinions get drawn into such things, but let's keep this board and whatever arguments transpire here focused on the substance of the discussion and not on problems of rhetoric. If we don't, I fear we'll have another "VNL" situation; who would ever want that?
As to "running away" and the allusion (sp
?) to your "resume" in the scene, I can't help but find your "taking my ball and going home" approach to SIDNY to be a very similar tact. Further, your decision in that regard did far more to affect the scene in your locality than does Brian's decision to step away from this board, and I can't help but feel the sucking sound of vacuum even as far away as Indiana.
Don't get me wrong; you're clearly a frighteningly sharp guy, and you did a lot for your scene before your burned out on it. Its just a shame that you gave up on something people really seemed to dig on the basis of such an "irresponsible attitude" that running away from something frustrating is appropriate when you "wish to do" it.
Seriously, though, its clearly an easy thing to allow one's career and scene roles affect how one behaves with those in the scene who are not relatiomship partners, but it gets pretty lame pretty quickly. Its easy to see such in the case of those in the old chats that were so inclined as to make use of some bizarely faux-infantile modes of typing. Its just as obvious (and equally obnoxious) when Daddy Doms start parenting to a message board (and the scene as a whole).
Finally, devalving to such fundamental assaults on one's character within the scene when one has behaved in similar ways on a larger stage is the height of hypocracy. Take a step back, tidy up a bit, and think a bit more before you start lobbing rocks from a glass house.
Of course, I'm just some 22 year old "junior" Daddy sort from a redneck red state who's so fresh from school his university degree hasn't even arrived yet, so what would I know? I've never had a live in LG/bottom/baby/submissive/slave, and have only diapered a dozen or so women (something like three of them being self-described ABs). I'm an imperfect individual, and I hold some "irresponsible attitudes" about some things (like sports cars, juvenile hobbies, and the like). Clearly, like Brian, you wouldn't know how I "could call myself a Daddy."
Guess what, dude? Being a Dom/Top/Daddy does not need to involve extreme expectations of mastery of all spheres of life. To be the loving sort of Daddy Brian mentions and I think most of those truly seeking partners here desire, being the "White Knight" just isn't that important. Loving, caring for, and indulging shared D/lg desires are the important things. The culture of Dominant one-ups-manship that you perpetuate does nothing spare keep people lonely and lacking of the partners they desire.
sincerely,