Posted by tisha on June 24, 2005 at 13:43 [71.115.221.160]
In Reply to: Re: Since.... posted by tisha on June 24, 2005 at 09:52
This is some information, an exerpt from a paper i wrote once on the subject about 3 years ago:
Those who have a craving for ageplay in the “lil” aspect often find that it helps to repair, or sooth the emotional traumatic “issues” of childhood. For others it allows them to let go of the stressful regiment of every day life and just relinquish the heavy responsibilities that they face on a daily basis. And some simply enjoy humiliation, diapers, or the idea of being naughty. They are able to just let someone else be responsible and think and worry and deal with things, while for once they can be willful, either good or bad, and instinctive. While with a “Big” they have the rare chance to enjoy unconditional love, to be cuddled, caressed, and spoiled with affection, while leaving thoughts and worries of the bills behind.
Those that have a craving for ageplay in the “Big” aspect often find the nurturing role a very fulfilling one. Knowing that the gift of complete, unadulterated trust, and unconditional love is just that… A gift that needs to be treasured and cultivated continuously. It allows them to be filled with pride and self worth as they engulf the “lil” that loves them with everything raw and powerful inside of them. If they are sexual (and not all those that enjoy ageplay become sexual with each other) the “Big” guides and shows the “lil” ways to enjoy their body, the energy between them, and the rawness of sensations and emotions that is exchanged. When you add complete love and trust with sexual attention the outcome can be a down right spiritual one.
At times a “lil” needs to be corrected for words and actions. Corrections are a fine line. Because many “lil”s act up to push and test limits, they are craving the correction. This type of cause/effect is where those with spanking fetishes, D/s and BDSM tends to overlap in the play. There are some other areas that it overlaps as well, but for many the two have nothing to do with one another. To be little is a very different state of mind than to be submissive.
Various Age Ranges
Nursery or Adult Baby - Age range from infant to toddler. They crave the completely dependence they first enjoyed from life. To allow yourself to be in this mind frame is a true gift, you must rely on your "Big" for EVERYTHING if you choose infancy. It is a time of unconditional love, cuddles, diapers, sucking thumbs/pacifiers, being dressed by another, bathed by another, nursing, bottles, ect. Infants and toddlers at times may act in very instinctive ways that is all they know. They take great joy in some of the most simple things that life has to offer, including the way another looks into their eyes, as if they are the most incredibly precious creature that has ever been given to the earth and the "Big" was the receiver of said gift. This little one is what makes their universe ... go. It is a very demanding 'role' on a "Big" as we are talking of adults in these 'roles'. It makes temper tantrums and diapering a little difficult at times.
Toddler - the "in-between" age range, no longer in the nursery but not yet a "big kid". Usually between the ages of 2 and 5.This is an age of testing the boundaries to the very core. A preschooler is at a point in their life where they know how to turn on the tears and big doe like eyes and have the pout perfected to get their way, and if that doesn't work an over done temper tantrum may be in the works! They also know how to turn on the charm so high, they could melt stone. The sweetness of this age is very incredible. Still at the age where instinct plays a big role, they are not afraid to say or do anything... to or around anyone, unless they are in an infamous "shy mood" or around strangers. Little girls are just learning about jewelry and sparkly stuff and dresses and hair accessories, as the little boys are just learning about toy cars, crashing into things, and making colossal messes that they are so very proud of! Never forget though these little ones are just one step past the nursery, and can be VERY in need of the tender cuddles and sweet gestures by the "Big", especially when tired! But don't be surprised if they refuse to nap or go to bed!! Make sure you have their favorite blanket and teddy close by, and perhaps a sucker or two will help as well. Discipline needs to be addressed carefully as one of this age has abandonment issues and to know they have made someone angry can totally destroy them.
Adolescent - Around the ages of 6 to 8. Full of spit, fire and vinegar, bright confidence and a TON of energy. When in a good mood one at this age can ask a myriad of questions. Why to everything. Complete awe and wonderment in life and they think that they are like cartoons.. indestructible. I can say that they test boundaries as they think they are big kids now, and that most of those little baby rules no longer apply to them, so some discipline is needed to keep these characters from running all over you. However, they are still very vulnerable, so be gentle with that discipline, verbal talking to usually does wonders as someone at this age internalizes a LOT of things, especially feelings of being bad. They want to be loved and accepted and to take on the universe, while being able to have the safety of a Big strong hand should they get frightened. This is the age of playing house, climbing trees, play doh, toy cars, play house sets, of make believe and story time before bed. Where prince charming and sleeping beauty is REAL, and the world where your "Big" is a hero, firm but loving, can give in when they see that sweet pouty face, and defend them from anything that my hurt their feelings, as they get bruised pride OFTEN!
Pre-Teen Ages - the big kids of Age Play, before the complications of puberty, usually around the ages of 9 to 11 ish. Independence is they key, but that Big is very much needed to console the kids at these ages. They are learning what the world is made of, straddling that fence of little kid play and young adult play, while not really ready to really understand the young adult play. For many it is the age of innocent flirting, or tempting touches that bring a new wealth of sensations they never knew existed. Its an age of rough play as well, or wrestling, of tickle fights, of playing tag, learning how to dance, put on plays, and of being accepted. When feelings get hurt at these ages, they are deep hurts and a "Big" needs to be careful and listen and hold on tight, yet give positive advice if advice at all is warranted. This is also a frame of time where the big kid knows the buttons to push to get their way, and knows that they can lock that bathroom door and shut out the world. Where they can turn on the music SO LOUD the windows rattle, and talk on the phone with their friends for hours while neglecting chores and other responsibilities. A firm hand if needed at this stage to keep the kid in line. Sometimes having to remind them that they are kids, and you know best whether they like it or not.
Teenagers - 12 ish to 18, puberty, and adolescence. Heavy flirting is a norm for this age. The girls like to tease horribly and play the innocent girl. Boys like to turn on the charm and woo the girls into being putty in their fingers. A "Big" at this stage is needed n times of nurturing, to tell the kid they are proud of them, that they are growing up into incredible people, to assure them as they go through the hard times that its just a phase they will get over as they get older, and to give advice where needed. It is usual here at this age range that they explore other "Big" for different feelings of needs, not that of a parent type, but of a teacher, friends parent, or but mainly other teenagers, someone that they can explore sexuality with. Because I rarely play in this range it is hard for me to understand the nuances of. If there are descriptions that are an important part of this range that I have left out, please don't be offended, I can not accurately describe that which I do not know.
Parental Type Roles - These rolls vary BIG TIME, though the same basic structure is always there. To be a "Big" you have to have a very special mind set and heart. To be nurturing, and understanding, and know that you need to go slowly. That many lils have found this side of themselves out of tragedy, out of things that they were denied as biological children, or they simply just need that release of their “regular” lives. What do you get out of it? The chance to have the incredible experience to love someone, unconditionally, that is more open, honest, and emotionally stripped down to the very core of their humanity than any other human being you will ever encounter. It is intense, it can make you cry its so incredible. These roles.. are very tricky for "Bigs" though as the responsibility issues are so varied. It is their JOB to make sure ANY AND ALL "play" it negotiated BEFORE HAND. Someone in "lil" mind space is simply, in most cases, UN ABLE to stop something once it starts. Frozen with fears and guilt and feeling bad. and the last thing you want to come out of your "play" is feelings of hurt, neglect, of being taken advantage of, or plain misunderstood. "Play" is supposed to be enjoyable. Please make sure that you talk to the “big” side of the youngster as you negotiate what is allowed, wanted, feared, or definite NO’s. Make sure that the one you talk to is not in “lil” head space to make sure that you are covered and you do not accidentally offend or frighten another. It is here that the Checklist can come in handy, as well as taking good quality as well as quantity time with someone you wish to explore further.
So.. yeah.. bleh. For what it is worth. I am CERTAIN that a lot of people are gonna have little remarks, but like I said, Im just offering it for your friend. It might at least help with some kind of mental starting point.
tisha
Email: tisha8@gmail.com