Posted by DR on June 24, 2005 at 07:46 [67.83.76.91]
In Reply to: Re: Maybe You Just Need A better approach. posted by tisha on June 23, 2005 at 09:15
I respect your reasons for blogging on this board, and understand your feelings about non-interference. Since you're uncomfortable with others directly speaking to your question, perhaps I'll write a blog of my own, and you may glean from it what you wish...
Before we met, my slave had masturbated into her diaper and then she promptly ripped it off after each time. At that time, she lived with her parents, which may have contributed to this. However, I later required her to wear a diaper to bed, while still under her parents' roof, and she slept through the night with it on -- so there may be another reason why she ripped the diaper off?
I'm confident that reason was shame. When my slave began exploring diaper kinks, she roamed the net and found lots of AB sites, LG sites, etc. This, she assumed, was where her diaper interests lay -- in regression. she had even created a babyish screenname for her chats. However, the whole dynamic never seemed right to her. she craved discipline and structure and humiliation.
Months later, when she and I met, I explained to her that I wasn't at all into "infantilism" nor regression play, nor "Diaper Lover Play" -- this despite my strong diaper desires. Rather, I am into diaper punishment, which bears some similarities to regression diaper play. Unfortunately, I explained, very little has been documented about diaper punishment. The vast majority of websites pertaining to diaper play involve either AB or DL -- though I am neither.
I explained to her that I prefer when my slave does not mentally regress, but retains her adulthood, and becomes a cowed, humiliated woman put back into Pampers. "If you're going to act like a two year old, then that's how I'm going to dress you" is one of my favorite things to say to her while I'm pulling her diaper up between her trembling thighs. That she is to always have one of six things in her mouth at all times (pacifier, bottle, ball gag, food, her thumb, my cock) -- not to calm her, but rather to silence her insolent mouth. That I will spank her over my knee, like a child, to teach her the value of being treated like an adult. That these are all tools to control, discipline punish, and humiliate her -- not to baby her whatsoever. After all, she's an adult in her mind and in mine -- an adult in need of Daddy's stern hand.
Well my words set off a fire in her. Finally, she found a person who understood her needs -- not regression, but punishment. Not "want your ba-ba" Daddy but Daddy who takes off his belt. Diapers -- not to make her smile and think she's two inches high, but diapers to make her *cry* and *feel* that she's two inches high.
her descent into shame has been gradual but impressive. Insofar as diapers go, she's become much better at using them. At first, she found wetting challenging and messing especially difficult. Oh did she cry that first time when I wouldn't let her out of her diaper to poop! But, as always, I refused to give in, and she finally loaded her diaper as was her punishment. I later granted her permission to masturbate so that she may enjoy the sweet taste of how I'd shamed her. Wow did she come hard!
Today she still has some trouble moving her bowels into her diaper -- largely because I don't make her do it often. In our dynamic, diapers are a punishment, not for constant use, so when its time for her to squat down and be shamed, she's somewhat out of practice and not always in the right headspace. But, headspace or not, if I punish her as such, then she'll do it. Daddy can wait as long as it takes, though it usually doesn't take long. Some months back, we went on vacation for a week, and I kept her diapered for the entire time 24/7 because she had been very bratty a few days prior. Despite her difficulties messing, she managed to load up her Pampers every day, and I enjoyed how submissive the whole punishment made her. A diapered woman, made to use her diapers, is an obedient, contrite, humble woman -- which is exactly the way they should always be.