Posted by tisha on May 31, 2005 at 18:59 [4.4.78.235]
In Reply to: Re: A Subject Indeed. posted by Mbob on May 31, 2005 at 12:06
A lot of this is perspective. If you ask someone what words to they consider to be unacceptable words to say in a public setting some till say "God Damned It!" is perfectly ok, while others have a VERY different idea on it.
All areas of life fit into this I think. First you have to ask what these things mean TO YOU, and give examples of. Then find others that think or feel much the same way for it to be a "fit".
To me topping from the bottom is where the submissive controls the scene. Example: She is tied and is getting flogged or some other type of play and directs the Dominant where and how hard, and other particulars of. Or He says "Take off my shoes please." and she says, " um... no, I have a foot issue." Now, there are plenty of times a submissive might act or react these ways, and it is up to the Dominant to end that right fast and reestablish that He/She is the one in charge. If further negotiations of "Hard No's" are needed, then stop and work those issues out so that there are fewer blocks along the road.
Some little girls want to be the Princess and spoiled and get her way with everything. To have Daddy wrapped around her little pinky! Lots of Daddy's out there would love to have an adorable little girl use her batting eye lashes and pouty bottom lip to make him cave to her wills. She, in effect, is topping from the bottom, too. Or she brats until he gets tired of it and spanks her, then the spanking itself is what she was really after to begin with (I would rather most spankings to be a reward or part of foreplay than because of upsetting my Daddy).
SOME people love those kinds of relationships and it works incredibly well for them.
*I* on the other hand would prefer a relationship that if I even tried to top from the bottom...... it would be corrected quickly. Give me my lines, if I grow curious to test them please make certain I don't again, and you will have a giggley purring angel devoted to you. But sometimes... just sometimes when I pout so sweetly for you, and it is something that is not really a big deal, or not testing a predefines "line"... let me have it/do it and I will squeal and jump in your lap and kiss your face RIGHT OFF!
The best way to spoil me would not to let me get away with everything and do all I want. That would, in fact, defeat the purpose for me and actually make me feel as though you did not love me. Set some guidelines, give me rules, punish me if and when I break them, dont let me be mean or rude, dont allow me to act like a brat, find out my "lines" and gently push past them or obliterate them all together, and love me to the very depth of my bones.
Its a lot to ask, but you get a lot in return too.
So.. for some people - YES topping from bottom would completely defeat the purpose. But for others... that is what they really like and want. Its all about what fits and works for you.
my opinion, for what it may be worth to you.
And as we all know on this board, we all have our own. I just lay mine out there for people to dismiss or choose to comment on, while others try to BASH their opinions THEM DOWN YOUR FREGGIN THROAT.. lol
Email: tisha8@gmail.com