Posted by DR on May 30, 2005 at 22:40 [67.83.76.91]
In Reply to: Re: Please any help posted by Brian on May 29, 2005 at 00:26
Brian,
You wrote:
"Do you not understand the concept of peer-review as it applies to real research, from which valid conclusions are derived from valid premises, supported by abundant data - which is challenged repeatedly until either confirmed or disproved?"
I do. Unfortunately, we have no such concrete data with which to determine de facto male-to-female ratios among the DLG and diaper sets. Our best evidence at this time are trends (rosters, online group memberships, real-time group memberships, etc.) and gender ratio trends among parallel communities, like the BDSM community. I've presented these to you as our best evidence. No, it isn't perfect, but its strong.
In fact, as it applies to our discussion of gender ratios, Occam's Razor and the null hypothesis provide our greatest evidence. Remember, BDSM groups generally have an equal male-female ratio. What is more likely?
A) that men are somehow predisposed to some kinks more than women are (kinks like DLG and diaper play) -- yet with other kinks (like BDSM) men and women are equally predisposed? or...
B) that men and women are equally predisposed to all kinks, but due to thousands of years of sex negativity and control, women have been socialized away from sex -- particularly kink sex, which is considered especially prurient?
The null hypothesis suggests the latter. Physiologically, psychologically, and emotionally, men and women are much more alike than they are different. The null suggests that men and women would also be equal in numbers vis-a-vis kink: including DLG and diaper kink.
These are my assumptions Brian, which are rooted in science and logic. Taken with the trend data I have provided in earlier posts, I believe these offer a strong, supported argument that male-to-female ratios are in fact at parity, and that Interent representativeness is a flawed tool.
You wrote:
"It is amusing to see how you fall victim to such a common strategy used by amateur debaters - furiously pile on dubious "facts" and hope that no one notices that your conclusion remains unsupported."
As mentioned, I believe my conclusions are well-supported. As for the rest of your post, I agree with much of it, particularly:
"What constitutes submissive? What constitutes Dominant? What defines AB, LG, Daddy?
NO ONE can answer any of these questions conclusively, except as "personal" interpretations."
Agreed, though you're muddying the waters unnecessarily. Brian, in this thread, you responded to my post by saying (in summary, not a quote) "that there aren't many women into DLG or diaper play." Surely I could have answered you as you did above -- citing "personal interpretations" to undermine your conclusion. But I didn't respond as such. Instead, I put forth evidence based on oft-accepted, kink definitions. No conclusion -- yours, mine, others -- could be considered worthwhile if the debaters questioned every definition under a microscope.
Finally, you wrote:
"Most of the other men that you attempt to lecture are no more in need of your arrogant correctionals than I am."
I'm not lecturing at all. My original comment on this thread was not at all didactic, but was rather an informed opinion about male-female ratios among the DLG and diaper sets. You disagreed, but my fact-based response was intended for you only. Those who disagree are entitled to their opinions, but I've heard no evidence (other than Internet representativeness and outdated literature -- such as T. J. Speaker) to support their claims that men vastly outnumber women in our kink.
But in fact, I believe this kind of unsupported thinking is destructive for us. Many men in search of a woman believe the odds are stacked against them. Rather than searching for the *right* woman, they instead search for *any* woman into DLG or diaper play. I know many single women into diaper play who receive over 100 emails per week from 100 different men.
Were our thinking different about these gender ratios, I'm sure the gals wouldn't be so overwhelmed. Were our thinking different, fewer men would say, "You're so lucky to have an AB girl." Were our thinking different, ours would not be a culture of desperation, harassment and learned helplessness, but one of confidence, sharing and community.
My point is the same as before -- there are many submissive women out there, and many, MANY who prefer DLG and/or diaper play as their primary kink dynamic. Men with these interests need not jump at every available woman, but rather should be discriminant and seek out the *right* women for them. We should also encourage women to participate by fostering women-friendly, harassment-free forums. Finally, we should look to BDSM groups for direction about kink equality. Theirs is a culture that facilitates safety through education and community.
Do men into DLG and/or diaper play need a lecture about women? Absolutely not. But what they need is a new perspective -- one that assumes that women are of equal numbers just waiting for the right climate to emerge.
Clearly our POV's are divergent Brian. If I can't convince you by now, I'll never do so. Best wishes.