Posted by Brian on April 09, 2005 at 21:14 [152.163.100.72]
In Reply to: Do any real females want to be babied? posted by Suicidal on April 08, 2005 at 15:45
I empathize with you. It is often difficult to reconcile one's "deviant" sexual identity with the propaganda surrounding "red-blooded" men/women and the objects of their affections. Truth be told. There is no normal sexuality. We all deviate from conventional and historical norms, as well as from each other. Therefore, we are all deviants.
Furthermore, I refuse to concede that you could possibly be more enormous a deviant than me :)
Seriously, as much as you must be hurting, the least of your difficulties is losing a girlfriend or dealing with her disgust toward your sexual interests. The only real issue that you MUST address is your self-loathing, and I agree with Pamper Baby Girl wholeheartedly, the sooner you leave the shrink behind, the sooner you can get to work actually making yourself happy and healthy.
Make no mistake, if you are feeling suicidal, find someone to talk to, but I would suggest a hot-line or other resource or counselling center that focuses on people dealing with suicide/sexuality issues. The typical analyst doesn't have a clue, and they tend to nurture your dependence on them.
You are not sick and you are not alone. The online porn industry does $Billions a year, globally. The diversity of fixations and fetishes is astounding, and the vast majority of it is harmless "good, not-always-clean fun."
Kinsey found that those people whose sexual expression fell outside the boundaries of "normal" sexuality but who participated in it actively, with minimal guilt, enjoyed high self-esteem and better health than those who considered themselves deviant.
So, here's my advice: 1. Believe in yourself. Focus entirely on getting your head clear and calm. You will survive all of this and prosper.
2. Lose the girl. You will find another.
3. Try not to worry about the judgement of other people. Yes! It is a hard road sometimes, when you have AB or DL tendencies or you are attracted to LGs and AB girls, but let people snicker. Most of them have their own secrets. Feel no shame!
4. Stay connected here. Talk to your friends on this site. Many of us have had our own moments of doubt and despair, and romantic disaster. Most of us are also more fully "deviant" than you, yet we are real people, have jobs, families, pets, and we root passionately for our favorite sports heroes and reality show contestants. Again. You are not alone, brother.
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