Posted by Anais on March 25, 2005 at 18:46 [70.21.234.162]
In Reply to: How Have You Reconciled the Risk of Discovery? posted by Daddy Dave on March 24, 2005 at 08:26
I would certainly dread being discovered by anyone who knows me through work. I have worked very hard to get up the greasy pole in a very male-dominated area of investment banking and it wouldn't help my cause if anyone found out what I do outside of work. That said purging isn't going to help. Using common sense and risk management is the only way to go. Keep work and home STRICTLY separate, present a "plain vanilla" facade to the world as a couple. Practice the worst case scenarios in your head and how you will react - your boss, a gossipy co-worker or even worse a client or potential client see you buying diapers. Big deal. Who says they are for you? Someone "outs" you at work - bad indeed but take a dignified 'let they who are perfect case the first stone" approach. What's the worst that could happen? You go to a headhunter and get another job and start over. It's never the end of the world. You might be a source of gossip or curiosity for a while, I reckon if anyone did find out at work there'd be a buzz about it yes, and the rumours would follow you for some time, but because I'm bloody good at what I do it would be outweighed by that.
Shit happens. One time we left my plastic pants hanging up drying in the bathroom and went out to work, I have no idea if my dogwalker went in there that day, if she did then she knows, so what? It's her job to walk my dogs not judge private stuff in my apartment. I'm sure she's seen all sorts in other apartments too and obviously I wouldn't give the keys to anyone who I thought couldn't be trusted. I decided to just carry on as normal, otherwise your life ends up like Seinfeld or Curb Your Enthusiasm where you have to go through all these hoops because of something quite minor happening.
I hope your LG friend is able to get over this set-back. It is natural to feel freaked out because there are many misconceptions about these activites.