Posted by MyMelody on March 24, 2005 at 14:37 [24.21.243.123]
In Reply to: Dating Safety posted by MyMelody on March 24, 2005 at 14:00
I believe dating safety is incredibly important for everyone. It's not only women who take on risks in dating! And as intelligent adults we all have the responsibility to protect ourselves as well as possible.
A lot of people don't realize that guys take on risks too. I've heard some horror stories from guys who've had online and real life stalkers.
And I think a lot of girls don't understand the pressures that guys deal with. I've heard a lot from talking to guy friends (and also cause I like girls and have often been "accused" of thinking like a guy hehe) Most "good" guys want to do everything they can to make a woman feel comfortable but it can be very intimidating to know what the right balance is.
Girls are pressured by society to be "Good girls" and as a result often give mixed signals or don't feel comfortable to communicate their desires. And guys are pressured to take the lead. So guys don't want to do anything ever to make a girl feel uncomfortable - both because they respect the girl and also because accusations can ruin lives. But at the same time, they don't want to appear too passive and miss an opportunity with a girl they really care about!
So, in a way, girls having clearly stated boundaries can help a guy out a LOT! If you clearly communicate your feelings, desires and boundaries there's no more need for worries of "Does she really like me?" "Am I being too pushy or not pushy enough?" "Is she just going along with me and gonna regret this later?" Or anything like that! Both people can be completely confident that they are making informed and mutually beneficial decisions, and that if anything goes off-course it won't come as a hurtful surprise.
And for girls....guys need to understand how scary it can be. According to statistics one in every three women will be raped or sexually assulted in their lifetimes...and that's just projected based upon those that are reported. It's estimated that only 1/3 of sex crimes are ever reported to the police - pretty staggering statistics!
As women, we have to be very careful to do everything we can to protect ourselves, without letting fear rule our lives. Everything is a calculated risk.
One of the biggest red-flags in my experience is anyone who tries to make you feel uncomfortable or guilty for taking precautions. Usually if they're trying to discourage you from protecting your safety - there's a reason they don't WANT you to be safe. And if you think they just don't understand, you can explain it all to them - how it's important to you and will benefit them too.
Also...remember...just because you want a Daddy doesn't mean you're a *real* child. You have NO obligation to shut your brain down to a child's level. Every partner needs to EARN your trust and respect...step by step. They need to prove they can be patient and respectful.
And most (the ones worth having) will greatly appreciate you having the self confidence and intelligence to communicate. Even if you're seeking a slave, you want to feel like that person picked YOU to submit to, not just is so weak they'd submit to anyone who comes along.
And if your partner can't understand all this they're probably not gonna be the kind of person (male or female) who would have your best interest at heart in the long run.
(Gosh, sorry I'm so wordy, guess I've got a lot to say on things I feel strongly about hehe)
Email: mymelody_bunny@yahoo.com