Posted by MyMelody on March 24, 2005 at 14:00 [24.21.243.123]
In Reply to: Finding the right daddy posted by anonymous on March 24, 2005 at 01:21
I second what everyone else here has said about taking precautions...and this should be whenever you go on a date with someone for the first time, no matter how you met them! Unless you've known them as a friend for years. Cause if you think about it...what's the risk in being careful vs what's the risk in NOT being careful?
First meet in a very public place (I've used a coffee shop where all the waitstaff know me and would look out for me a little).
Remember not to give your home address, or even telephone number till you're SURE you can trust someone. If you want to talk, yahoo messenger has a great voicechat program so you don't have to share your number, and no long-distance phone bills either!
I never give out my real name even, till I've known someone a little while online. And if you do give your real name, you should make sure you're not listed in the phone directory so someone could find your address that way.
For the first meeting, set up some sort of safecall. If you need to, no one on either end needs to know exactly what it's about. You could not tell the guy you're expecting the call. And tell your friend that it's a blind date or someone you've only known in a group setting and you want a way to bail if you're miserable. Joke about "in case he's an ax murderer" and set up a safeword signal you can have if you're uncomfortable, and also let them know where you'll be and to come looking for you if you don't answer your cell or don't call them when you're supposed to. Make sure if you have a cell that it's fully charged ahead of time, and that you don't take it off or get it buried under a pile of clothes or something so you can't hear it ring lol.
If you plan on going back to his hotel or anything after you've met in public and feel comfortable enough - remember there is still always SOME risk. Don't let it make you too paranoid to enjoy life, but do take it into consideration.
Make your boundaries clear with him ahead of time. If you think it might be the case - warn him that you might be tempted to go beyond your stated boundaries but don't want to regret anything in the morning and ask him to help you stick to that. You might consider coming up with two safewords for the first meeting if you think you'll "play" at all. One regular safeword for stopping in case "no" and "stop" might not mean that. And then maybe one (if you trust him enough at the in-public meeting) to say "I'm very excited but might regret this later...please MAKE me stop"
You should never feel conflicted about making absolutely sure you are as safe as you can possibly be! And if anyone tries to make you feel uncomfortable or guilty for it - that should be a warning sign right there that it's even MORE important to watch out for yourself.
Email: mymelody_bunny@yahoo.com