Posted by A. on March 24, 2005 at 06:14 [12.210.221.132]
In Reply to: Re: Finding the right daddy posted by anonymous on March 24, 2005 at 03:32
There's no reason to let your mother's paranoia interfere with your happiness. However, it is rather imparative that you follow a few safety guidelines.
1. Meet for the first time in a public place, like a restaurant. If he's travelling from a distance, spend enough time getting to know him that this will just seem like a formality that you'll want to move beyond.
2. Make arrangements with someone you know will be there for you to check in at a certain time, and make sure to keep up your end of the bargain. You needn't let them know exactly what's going on (i.e. that you're meeting some guy into a "weird fetish" "from online"); just tell them you have a date and want the opportunity for an excuse to "bail you out." Rude as it may seem, lots of people do this just to have an excuse to cut short boring dates.
Finally, there are a couple points to think about.
1. The likelihood of meeting someone else in your local area who is into the AB scene is pretty slim unless you know where to look. Some metro areas now have AB/ageplay munches (casual lonthly munch socials) where Daddy types like myself have been known to go. If your town doesn't have one of these, don't despair; almost every city of 100,000 people or so has a munch for people that are into "more conventional" kinky things, i.e. BDSM. Don't let this scare you away; in my experience, you are much more likely to find ageplayers (especially Tops and/or Daddies) and such in BDSM circles than you are around ABs. To find your local munch, just do a google search for your city name and BDSM. You should expect a warm reception from the group, as most groups are very happy to have new memebers, especially those that are single.
2. When all else fails, "roll your own." Even if a boyfriend isn't into ageplay, there's a likelihood that you could gradually work it into your sex play (unless you're for some reason sexually inactive, which is a can of worms I'm not qualified to address). Things like school girl skirts and pacifiers, and maybe even so much as a spanking or calling him "Daddy" are sorts of things that even VERY vanilla/straight-laced guys might go for. You don't even need to make a big production out of "telling him"; just dress up like a schoolgirl or something and act seductive, and chances are, libido will do the rest. ;)
3. Finally, as to the horror stories, know this: they're about as likely as any other freak accident. You're just as likely to get struck by lightning or have a fatal car wreck your way to meet this guy as you are to find out he's an axe murderer. As to sexual assault, a little pepperspray has been known to go a long way. If he doesn't listen to you when you clearly assert yourself and insist he not enter you, its "go" time and he's earned a spicey treat.
4. If he won't understand your feelings and accept the small things you require to feel safe, find a Daddy type who will; safecalls and public-place meetings are very reasonable for the safety of both parties.
I hope this is somewhat helpful, and that it helps you on your way to finding the Daddy that you want.
all the best,