Posted by anon on September 08, 2010 at 22:37 [24.176.173.197]
In Reply to: Re: Guidance posted by Ann on September 08, 2010 at 13:58
If it helps, in relationships such as these, the passive participant is really the one in control. They allow the dominant person to have that power, but they can easily take it away by saying a simple "no" (or rather, some kind of safety phrase which means 'I'm not playing this game anymore'). The dom can't really force you into anything, but you chose of your own free will to participate. You have the ability to take his power away in an instant. The downside to this power is typically the end of the relationship.
As for the 'can't accept myself, so how can others accept me' mentality? Get over it (saying this in a 'nice' way). I suffered from it for too long at one point in my life. The person who sets the highest standards for you is yourself. If you never live up to those standards means that you'll improve over time. Eventually you'll see how far you've gone and it'll shock you into realizing that you should believe in yourself a bit more. In the mean time, try opening up to others, and perhaps take solace in the fact that they can accept you for you even if you can't.
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