Posted by ann on March 13, 2005 at 18:28 [84.65.190.226]
In Reply to: depressed posted by anonymous on March 11, 2005 at 03:26
I felt the very same way for years, until i got on-line just before xmas. Found bittergreys site first, which made me feel a whole lot better, then got to thinking i must be a deviant since couldn't find any mention of other girls anywhere who were the same as me. Eventually found Bethans site, and now vist regularly to read boards! (Been reading various conversations between the girls and L.E with interest for a couple of months!) Had always been too embarrassed and ashamed to tell anyone up until then, but have chatted to a few "Daddies" since and decided to tell my boyfriend recently. Thought if anything he would end relationship and run a mile, but we're still together. Said that he was honoured I trusted him enough to tell him,as he apprechiated how hard it must have been for me to do it. He went out and bought baby bottle and cup and hade made up a bottle and fed me a couple of times which was nice but we haven't progressed much from there. I think he needs some time to get used to the idea, but loves me and wants to be with me. All in all I'm glad i told him, I feel so much more comfortable with it now, spent years making nappies out of towels, and buying baby stuff that i would then get rid of after a while, feeling guilty and ashamed and promising myself I'd never do it again. The purge thing I suppose. Think the best thing is to accept it as part of who you are, as it won't go away. (Not in my experience, and not according to most everything I've read on the subject since finding I wasn't the only person in the world like this!)Seems you can hide it, pretend it doesn't exist etc and feel miserable and guilty about it seeing yourself as some kind of pervert or you can accept it embrace it and enjoy it knowing that if you are nuts or a pervert there are plenty of others out there just the same as you! smile (so at least you're in good company!) For the record, since I've accepted it I feel much happier, and this board proves that if nothing else, far from worrying about boyfriends being disgusted if they found out, there's bucket loads of men out there looking for someone exactly like me and you.
Accept and be happy!
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