Posted by Glad to help on November 28, 2009 at 01:54 [69.115.233.176]
In Reply to: so, it was inevitable I guess... posted by tilly on November 24, 2009 at 18:03
Inevitable perhaps for an immature man. Daddy or not, accepting of diapers or not -- a man who *cares* for his girlfriend doesn't pack and walk, but rather he discusses the issues respectfully.
And frankly, a sexual fetish / lifestyle is rarely ever a genuine reason to leave a relationship. I suspect many jilting partners use it as a crutch -- as an easy "out" -- rather than confronting the deeper relationship issues.
That aside, I'm sorry to read about your breakup. Been there myself many times and know the pain and frustration.
A final and different note: I'd like to offer an alternate opinion from that of dad2u's response two weeks back, when he wrote that you might look inside yourself for the origins of your little girl side. Totally your choice whether you do or don't, but you might consider that seeking a cause for one's kinks is nothing more than an unnecessary rationalization.
What do I mean? Well, people tend to ask, "Why me?" only when they perceive themselves as abnormal or "different." For example, people ask themselves, "Why was I born without a hand?" "Why wasn't my father around?" "Why did I grow up to like wearing diapers?"
However, no one ever seems to ask themselves, "Why do I have two perfect hands?" or "Why was my father so supportive all these years?" or "Why do I enjoy plain ole vanilla sex?" Nor do people question why they like eating chocolate rather than pistachio, or prefer watching Seinfeld to Friends. No justifications necessary. I often think that the reason people look inwardly as to why they enjoy (fill in the blank: kinks, diapers, infantilism, ABDL, Daddy little-girl, etc.) is because that person also believes (in part) that he or she is (fill in the blank: abnormal, different, weird, a "freak" -- as your ex-boyfriend said)
True, some may argue that nostalgia can be more curiosity than justification -- more fascination than tinkering -- more self-growth than self-judgment. Possibly. Me, I neither want to revisit my kink origins, nor grow through understanding them. I often think kinky people (of all varieties) devote too much time and energy into dissecting and growing their kink selves. I gave that up long ago. These days, I simply enjoy my kinks for what they are. Like the way I enjoy chocolate and Seinfeld.
May be perhaps one reason why many of us (kinky people) surround ourselves with others who feel similarly. (See, case-in-point, I'm getting too analytical!!!) No explanations required. Same can be said of finding a partner who doesn't question "why" you like what you do, but simply respects that you do. But to find such a supportive, considerate person, I think a kinky person has to first be at peace with his kinks. To love his kinks and to love himself for his kinks.
Thus, my suggestion to you tilly to dad2u, and to all here: let go of your need to understand why you enjoy what you like, but rather simply *enjoy* what you like. I realize this is easier said than done, but with some work it is nevertheless attainable for all.