Posted by A. on February 28, 2005 at 12:47 [12.210.221.132]
In Reply to: your advice please posted by no name on February 28, 2005 at 09:24
Dear miss,
I'm sorry that you're in a situation you find distressing. Here are a number of things to consider:
People engage in spanking play for a number of reasons. Some people engage in it as a reaction to misbehavior within the context of a 24/7 power exchange, for with the idea of "maintenance" or continuous reminders to behave. Other people just do it consentually for the enjoyment of both partners wherein one is enjoying it as masochistic and the other as sadist. Often, there's a combination of reasons on the part of both parties. However, a lot of tension can result if there isn't communication and consentual agreement on WHY the spankings are happening.
Additionally, being a "good" Daddy means VERY different things to different people. Its important that you two each understand what each other is seeking in the roles you live/play and what behaviors you consider inappropriate.
My suggestion to you is to confront him on the issue of why he is spanking you. If he is unwilling to have that conversation, I would leave him; you're obviously on different pages, and if he isn't at least willing to talk things through with you and make a case for why he's spanking you, then he REALLY doesn't deserve you.
If, on the other hand, he makes a case for spanking that you do no wish to consent to, I would suggest you say as much to him and let him understand how that aspect of the relationship is not working for you.
As best you can, be calm, but be assertive enough to get him to take you seriously. If he tells you that asserting yourself in that regard is somehow inappropriate or refuses to take you seriously, bail.
Daddy A.
who reminds you to negotiate enough to have an udnerstanding.
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