Posted by A on March 08, 2008 at 10:41 [69.136.11.146]
In Reply to: trusting people on the internet posted by trust on March 07, 2008 at 19:24
Dear lulu,
One good option is meeting them at a gathering of other people who accept our lifestyle choices.
This link is to a community calendar for kinksters in (if I recall your earlier posting correctly) your state.
http://www.coloradobdsm.org/cgi-bin/calendar.cgi/ColoradoBDSM
Pick something that appeals or seems the least threatening, and arrange to meet your suitor at it. This can really be worth your while, at least as a means to establish some legitimacy of the prospective partner's situation. A willingness on the part of your prospective partner to join and be known to a community, thus implicitly submitting himself for judgment by the community can help you to get an idea as to where he stands on things and what sort of a person he is.
In the absence of an ability to do that, make your first meeting in a public place. Let a friend or family member know where you're going and that you're on a date. Arrange to text or call your friend/family member afterwards, lest the contact you by a certain point. If contact doesn't happen, ask that they take whatever measures on your behalf that you feel are appropriate.
with best and warmest wishes for good luck in new endeavors,