Posted by Dave on February 17, 2007 at 11:52 [24.23.135.51]
In Reply to: Thanks Bethan posted by New daddy on February 05, 2007 at 15:03
My wife is into D/s, yet does not want to give up power in our relationship to "let" me dominate her. Spanking her is part of our foreplay, but it's erotic only. I desperately want to be her fantasy guy, as it were, but I need to have this couched in real terms - not a bunch of physcho-babble. I understand what being "dominant" means. I need practical advice on how to get her to do that with me - or is it even possible? I truly wonder about the people on these forums who, supposedly, live 24/7 like this. I can see the weekend/dating types, to some degree, but when you start living together in a "real" relationship, the power dynamics can be a killer. As she put it, when you're dating it's all about giving up control - which is what makes it exciting. But when you're married, it's all about GAINING control. At least that's how she thinks of it, which tells me she's not very submissive, really, and that D/s should be more of a fantasy for her. One that she can never live out. Just like guys who have fantasies about having sex with animals can't and shouldn't "go there". Or children, of course. But, these are "fantasies" just like D/s, ageplay, spanking, etcetera. Some things you just can't do and hope to maintain a relationship or function in soceity as a law-abiding citizen.
Does this make sense? If you think I can overcome this D/s issue with her, I'd be most appreciative to hear your thoughts on it.
Email: