Posted by DR on July 19, 2005 at 14:34 [67.83.76.91]
In Reply to: Re: DIAPER DATING SITE posted by L.E. on July 19, 2005 at 08:05
The best answer *FOR ME and MY GROUP* is to move away from "personals" and "rosters," but to move towards real-time community only. I have no interest in creating a dating service -- only community.
However, if I were creating a diaper dating *my* answer would be much like the way I'm changing SIDNY:
1. First, screen participants *in person* thoroughly for suitability. Online sign-ups facilitate an atmosphere of anonymity and mistrust. Screening is the way.
2. Second, only choose those interested in lots of face-to-face interaction, so as to hold socials, mixers, get-togethers. SIDNY will continue to have an educational/activist bent, which is distinguished from a diaper dating service, but the common link is to have *social* participants -- not onliners.
3. Third, weed out those who lack confidence and the basic social skills. If you were running a diaper dating service, would you really fix up that AB who shows up for a date looking ungroomed and smells bad? Or a guy who feels so bad about himself that he's down on himself and his life? I wouldn't. And I don't want those people in my diaper group either -- not until they find the confidence and social skills to prove they won't be a disruption.
More than anything else -- *this* is what AB/DL's have backwards. Finding a girlfriend doesn't make a man confident, his confidence helps him find a girlfriend. And I learned from experience -- a diaper group can't provide confidence but can only reinforce the confidence s/he's built independently.
4. Charge a fee. Money separates the wheat from the chaff. Investments inspire people to *get interested.*
That's *my* answer. Its what works for SIDNY, and is what I would do if I were starting a diaper dating service. It may not work for you, but then again, you're free to start your own group and run it how you like. :)
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