Posted by L.E. on September 27, 2004 at 06:52 [12.144.5.5]
In Reply to: Re: 4TLOG posted by Kevin on September 27, 2004 at 00:17
Your story as presented is no good,and your attacking other stories won't make yours any better.
It's a string of sentences usually ending with exclamation points that doesn't contain enough information to even be a coherent OUTLINE of a story.
Who are your characters?...why do they do what they do?
I have to tell you that I get the disturbing implication that Justine is really a child rather than a woman,and under those circumstances I don't find her being treated like a baby erotic in the least.
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