Posted by TragicImage on September 11, 2004 at 01:26 [67.125.195.216]
In Reply to: Emillys naked nursery day posted by Tommy on September 11, 2004 at 00:38
my suggestion(s)... change it up more before you repost it. I read this almost exact same story a month or two ago, with the same spelling errors.
More detail, don't focus on diapers so much, there is more to life than that, and more to a woman than just the parts you talk about. You use the same descriptions, grab ahold of thesarus (sp?) and mix in some different vocab.
And finally don't be so transparent in your writing as to when we can tell you get excited the most in the story, keep it all equal throughout, let the reader decide which part they feel is important....
Just my opinions.... that you asked for.
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