Posted by PERVasive on August 25, 2010 at 02:03 [67.58.128.146]
In Reply to: Why? posted by Alyssa on August 23, 2010 at 05:54
First of all, major props to your boyfriend for having the courage to tell you, and major props to you for being supportive. Coming out of the closet with a poop fetish is pretty scary.
My experience, I think, is somewhat atypical in that I have a continuous memory of fetish related behavior clear back to before potty training. I think most kids figure out that something about the genital area feels good, and many connect it to bathroom functions until they know better, but for me touching just never felt completely satisfying. I was constantly fantasizing about poop and pee related things, especially going in my pants or in the bed, and my juvenile masturbation was supplemented by going to the bathroom in odd places, and as I got a bit older and braver, going in my pants on purpose.
When I hit puberty, it was around when we got internet access, and naturally my very first Google searches were for "pee" and "poo" images. Then I figured that somewhere on the internet someone had to have pictures of having an accident: it was too obvious not be around! Instead of finding that, though, I stumbled into the (then relatively young) online pee and poo fetish community, and that is when I realized that not only was I not alone, there was a sexual aspect to it.
I could of course go on, but the point I guess is that I don't really know why I like it. I literally always have. Some aspects of it are tied to my sexuality, but other activities feel non-sexual to me, but cathartic in a similar way to sexuality. I prefer soft poop and desperate pee accidents to hard poop and intentional wetting, because soft poop feels nicer to squish, and because both of those things make it feel more free.
I use fetish activity to destress, and anything that makes the activity feel more constrained, like having to hide out in the bathroom, or peeing in the toilet to make the clean up easier, makes it more stressful. By contrast, getting messier and being less careful about mess makes it feel freer and less stressful.
The smell actually turns me on, unless it's an unhealthy smell. That's probably conditioning, like how smokers like the smell of tobacco.
The fetish feels like a crush in the sense that I want to experience as fully as possible or be ever closer to poop, pee, pooping, peeing, etc. (with the limit of no poop above the neck). There's not an end or a goal to it, like orgasm. Doing smeary scat feels emotionally to me similar to a really close hug that can't be close enough. Strangely, it actually makes me feel wonderfully clean after I wash off, moreso than I feel ordinarily.
I also want to include a preliminary fuck you to anyone who complains about my telling my fetish history, since that seems likely to happen. The story is not intended to be erotic, and it certainly has nothing to do with pedophilia or child porn. It's just how I got where I am today, and is of emotional interest to me, and psychological interest to speculators on the origins of the fetish.
Email: pervasive18@gmail.com