Posted by Kali on November 25, 2005 at 01:32 [64.254.200.234]
In Reply to: Re: split personalities so to speak....thank you!! posted by gertrude on November 11, 2005 at 03:30
You know... The sad thing is, I can't even begin to try answering your question there, because it's exactly what I've been trying to figure out, myself!
In my experience, when I've tried having relationships where I've been more "in control" and not given in to my vulnerable side, I find my vulnerable side panics, rebels and slams the door on the entire thing. However, when I give in and let my vulnerable side call the shots (so to speak), I find that my stronger side starts getting bitter and resentful of what's going on. Obviously, a relationship based on an even keel is the best route to take... but how does one begin that? Do you meet a "vanilla" man out in the world and slowly let your vulnerable side out? Or do you meet a "Daddy" man and hope he won't be turned off by your stronger side? I don't know. I find starting the relationship to be the hardest part.
At any rate, I'm taking some time off from dating right now... trying to figure myself out and what it is I'm looking for and needing in a relationship before I go out looking for it ;) I'm hoping this might make me feel more grounded and secure when the time comes... and less likely to sabotage my own relationships by running away or resenting my partner.
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