Posted by gertrude on November 11, 2005 at 03:30 [66.28.235.62]
In Reply to: Re: split personalities so to speak.... posted by Kali on November 10, 2005 at 20:09
I can giving you a huge metaphysical hug right now. Can you feel the love? Knowing that there is someone out there who feels exactly the same way makes this so much easier to deal with. I think this was sparked because I just recently had my first experience really truly feeling vulnerable in this context. I've had this kind of relationship before but in the first instance the guy wasn't as into it as I was and in the second his favorite activity was to cane, flog and tawse me until the bruises were black--both of which still tapped into that my more non vulnerable side for different reasons. Thus to feel that vulnerable was just plain scary and I am so used to sublimating whatever fear I have and just plowing ahead that it took me a minute to realize how scared I actually was. I suppose when one is in "little head space" that she really does need things from her partner and I have never been comfortable with needing anything from anyone. How do you allow yourself to do that without sending your other self into panic mode?
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