Posted by DR on October 11, 2005 at 13:39 [67.83.76.91]
In Reply to: As usual, DR bobs and weaves posted by L.E. on October 11, 2005 at 13:16
L.E. wrote,
"You are certainly addressing inclusivity and what's OK if you're saying it's not OK to reject people's claims about themselves"
No, I'm not. You're further muddying the waters. I am discussing self-defining vs. others defining us. I am *not* discussing what kinks are okay, nor am I discussing inclusivity/exclusivity. A community can be very welcoming of all, but concomitantly label everyone in the door. Alternately, a community can be very exclusive, yet tolerant of all lifestyles.
I am *not* discussing "what's okay" nor inclusivity/exclusivity. If that's how you perceive my original response to Daddy T, then I can't help you. I've communicated as clearly as I'm capable.
And L.E. wrote,
"Is it your claim that there is no such thing as self-deception?"
When it comes to kink, that's my claim. I think people are allowed to *evolve* and change their self-definitions, but I don't believe anyone is deceiving themselves about his/her self-definition. If an AB wears diapers, has someone care for him, wets and soils himself and cries uncontrollably -- but calls himself a "Daddy" or "Mommy" or "Dominant" -- then that's his right to do so. Later, he may change his mind and decide to call himself an AB or an infantilist, or whatever word spins his wheels.
Obviously his self-definition is then very different from yours, but that's what makes the kink world go 'round. What a boring world this would be if we all defined ourselves in the same way.
Definitions are about effective communication, but not about labeling others as what we would like them to be. Long ago I wrote an tutorial for the SIDNY website about "Diaper Orientations" -- in which I outlined what I see as the differing dynamics of diaper desires. But at the top of the page, I included this caveat:
"The definitions that follow are our intepretation of the many variations of our diaper desires, but are not the last word in the matter. The most important thing to remember is that you define yourself, and no one else has the right to non-consensually tell you who you are."
That's my point L.E. If that continues to escape you, then its useless for me to spend any more time explaining it to you.
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