Mindy Kaling (Kelly, The Office)
Here's a true story about me: I keep a plastic bottle of water near my bed at night so I can stay hydrated. Hydration is the key to great skin and being thin and lots of life's other happinesses, according to the many, many women's health magazines I subscribe to.
So, one night, I drank a big gulp of water from my water bottle, turned off the light, and went to sleep, very pleased with myself.
In the middle of the night, I heard a gunshot and immediately peed my pants. Well, to be accurate, I peed my pajamas. For those of you who haven't had the experience of peeing yourself, it's not just for children and the elderly. It can happen to anyone who is terrified and thinks that they will be murdered shortly.
Well, it wasn't a gunshot. It was an indentation in my plastic water bottle un-indenting itself, loudly. It made a loud, plastic-y crack,, which I mistook for a gunshot. When I realized this, I felt relief ... then a deep foolishness.
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